A few weeks ago I moved to the beautiful city of Besançon. I know the Instagram and Facebook posts have been pretty constant, but I haven’t actually talked much about my actual experience these past few weeks.
This is my fourth voyage in France, so I like to think I‘ve gotten to know France and French culture decently well. Though before arriving this time, I had always thought that my life here was going to be so vastly different than my life in the US. While in many cases this is true, there are many ways that my life isn’t actually all that different. The people here are still human beings that live human being lives and many systems and ideas and things are generally the same. Putting the language aside, I often find myself forgetting that I’m in Europe, and in my favorite country on earth. These realizations have made this transition to French life easier. But every day, often multiple times a day there are little reminders that I am in a different place. I will hear a police/ambulance siren, or I’ll notice a literal statue on the side of a building next to someone’s balcony. I walk through the centre-ville of Besançon, surrounded by buildings that I’m not quite sure the age, but are likely centuries old. These little moments every day give me a boost of serotonin and remind me to just reflect on how lucky and thankful that I am to have this opportunity to be here.
I have yet to meet a person here who has been anything other than kind and welcoming. And there is a sense of security in public here that I rarely feel at home. Being a single, foreign, female, that is proficient in the language but by no means fluent, in the US, I could be a target, but here, there hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t felt safe and welcomed. The people of Besançon, Bisontines, are some of the kindest most welcoming people I’ve ever met, from bank employees and shop owners to random people at bus stops and in cafés. I never feel afraid here, much unlike Denver where I can get on the bus and not know what kind of crazy person would be on the bus that morning. That doesn't mean I'm not careful and keep an eye out, but there just isn't a looming worry like I sometimes have walking around Denver. Even in Paris, a much larger city, I don't feel all that unsafe.
Here, I feel a different sense of American pride that I’ve never felt before. I always used to be ashamed to be American, often being a prouder Coloradan over a proud American. I was ashamed of the culture and politics that I consequently represent. Though my thoughts on this have changed drastically, I don’t think I’ll ever be one to wear the American flag with pride, but I’m no longer ashamed to admit where I’m from. One of the biggest fears every American study abroad student has (especially in recent times) is the American politics discussion, at first it feels like a great sense of responsibility. Do you choose to remain neutral and only present facts on how it is? Do you share your perspective and thoughts that may put a bad image on opposing views? Or do you share your opinions but acknowledge that there are other people that think otherwise? I’m by no means a political expert, half the time I don’t understand what’s happening and pick the side that typically aligns with the ideas of my political party. I still don’t walk around parading an American flag, and I’m not afraid to explain the truth in the state of our country, but there is a little sense of pride I feel. Though it’s more of a recognition and acknowledgment of my privilege than anything else. I have been lucky to have this opportunity and to be able to have the many other experiences abroad that I have had.
Another topic that has been interesting to discuss is college life in the US. I'm talking fraternity and sorority life and student loans. A few weeks ago, not knowing the word for loan in French, stumbled my way through explaining student loans to my host family. They were amazed at school costs that much and how people will spend their whole lives working to pay off their education. In combination with the current Denver cost of living, they had told me that they had never heard much about it other than it being expensive and were shocked to hear it's true. I explained the truth of how it is in the US, but also explained that there are people, like me, who have scholarships, and don't go to that expensive of a school to begin with. When talking with French students they usually ask if the Fraternity and Sorority life is real and if college life in general is anything like the movies. To which I usually respond, yes I'm sure it's like that somewhere, but UNI isn't really much like that.
But with this talk of a different culture that isn't actually all that different, there are still things I’ve come across that I didn’t know before hand. Especially relating to meal times. One of the big things about French culture is food, and without a question, I’m eating so well here. Lots of French dishes, but also lots of international dishes. And while I could talk about the amazing food all day, there are certain mannerisms and cultural differences that I’ve had to adapt to. Breakfast is typically more calm, I often sleep later than my host family, so I usually eat after they’ve started their day, usually an espresso, some bread and jam, and a yogurt. It’s simple, but it works for me and I'm happy. Lunch and dinner in more relaxed settings isn’t much different than in the US, its the meals we share with friends and family of my host family that are the most different. Usually starting with an apéritif. I’ve had so many different apéritifs, Suze, Pineau, Picon Bière, Pastis, to name a few. Don’t ask me to explain what any of those other drinks are, because I couldn’t tell you, I just nod my head and say yes I’ll try it. So far, I’ve liked them all, too. But here’s the thing I didn’t know at first. DON’T TAKE A DRINK BEFORE TOASTING. Maybe I’m just stupid and this is a thing everywhere, but we always toast, usually we say santé, sometimes tchin (it’s the sound the glasses make, like clink). You also have to santé/tchin everyone at the table, and look them in the eyes (that part I knew, thanks capstone).
Another customary tradition is the famous bisous. And these are just in all encounters with people you know, not necessarily only during meals. I some how made it over 5 and a half years of French having never done the typical French bisous until I was on the capstone this May. Though in all honesty, the capstone in general was a large turning point for me in my French career, but that’s a conversation for another time. Bisous, that french cheek kiss thing that you see in French media, it is real. There is a debate on whether you do two kisses or three, I’ve only ever seen two, though I know in some regions it is three. Not to be confused with a French kiss, that’s something else. The bisous is a weird concept for those non accustomed to it, but here it’s normal, at least pre-covid normal. Now there is an acknowledgment of asking if you do the bisous, though that is seeming to become less common. The first full day with my host family, we went to a birthday party of one of their family friends. Well here, I learned you’re supposed to bisous everyone present. Which can lead to twenty or so bisous, it’s a lot, especially for someone just arriving and becoming accustomed to this concept. Though not just at parties either. Say you’re at a restaurant and someone you know walks up to your table, everyone stands up, does the bisous, exchanges hellos, sometimes you stand around and chat a minute. In French social situations, a general acknowledgment of everyone present seems to be the way it is. Honestly, I like it. It's friendlier that way.
These few things are just the tip of the iceberg of all the French culture I've started to absorb. There are things I see and experience every day that I can't even begin to be able to explain. Which makes for a lot of the experience. I could go on for hours and hours about how much I love Besançon. This city is full of so much rich history and beautiful sites.
As of writing this, I have just started classes, so I can't speak too much on those quite yet. From an administrative stand point, there have been lots of little things I have somewhat been able to accomplish, but a general thing I am learning, is that things take longer here. Registering for classes and getting enrolled at the university, opening a French bank account, getting a French phone number, and registering as a French resident and getting enrolled in the national health insurance to name a few. I have been here almost three weeks, and while I am in the process, most of those things have not been completed yet. It's frustrating, but all you can do is just accept it and let it happen as it happens.
A common phrase I've heard is that Americans live to work, while the French work to live. It's why the joie de vivre (joy of living) saying is such a thing, the attitude towards work and life in general just feels so much more at ease. So yes, things may take a little longer, and because of that, people live more relaxed lives. It feels all so different than the hustle and bustle of American living. It's not well explained, but you can just feel it. And while I am typically someone who enjoys immediacy, I do like the relaxed feel of France.
These couple weeks so far have been incredible, it's hard to believe that shortly I will have been in France longer than all of my previous trips combined. I've really fallen in love with France and the way of life here, especially in Besançon. And even after just a few weeks, I can feel my skills with the language really progress as well. I can't wait for this story to continue and to share more as it comes along. I have a few smaller trips around France and Europe planned in the coming months, but above all, I'm just excited to continue to live la vie Bisontine.
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